Fool that I Am

We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong….

1 Corinthians 4:10

There are times when I doubt. Times when I wonder, “What’s the point?” Trusting is like spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. I’ve fallen to my knees and cried out to God, only to have the words fall upon deaf ears. I’ve asked, “Why won’t You listen, better yet, why won’t You answer?”

I’ve worked hard to accomplish projects that might serve the church or God’s people, encouraged a handful of others to hop on the bandwagon and seen the efforts work for awhile and then fall by the wayside, regardless of how hard I try to pick up the pieces.

Fact is, I finally figured out, I’m not the savior of the church. It’s not me who has to keep things running, who has to manage every program, do every job, open the doors of the church every Sunday. I can’t do it all and more so, I don’t want to do it all.

When I look at the amount of projects I’m personally involved in, just in church, I have to cross my arms and say, “Shish, God. Can’t you pick on someone else?”

Now that you’re wondering if this woman who has professed to love the Lord with her heart, soul and mind, has lost her mind –then listen up.

I am a fool for Christ and I do love Him with my entire being. Under no circumstance, do I begrudge any of the projects I’ve taken on for the kingdom because I love being a servant. However, it wasn’t me that came up with April Fool’s Day! Though I can say, it is me who can take advantage of it! So Happy April Fool’s Day.

Throughout this “foolish” ranting, there is a message and the truth of the matter is, my bestfriend Mark tells me, “You need to slow down.” He’s right. My plate is full and it’s taking its toll on me physically. I have given up some of my hats within the church and other places, too –not because I didn’t want to do them but because others need an opportunity to serve where their talents lie as well. I love being a servant and my heart is completely foolish for the Lord. And for all the times I have fallen to my knees, God has never failed to answer.

May you be a fool for Christ, wise and strong in Him, fully trusting the one who IS the Savior of the church, who IS the giver of life, and who loves us completely.