Me - Timid? Yeah, Right!

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. – 2 Timothy 1:7

My son and I watched piled into matching recliners one Sunday afternoon. Sandwiches in hand, soft drinks on the end tables, we flipped on the television to watch The Sound of Music. The von Trapp Family can’t hold a candle to Chase and me singing, Do Re Me.

There is something magical about that wonderful movie. Perhaps it’s the beauty of the Alps, or maybe it’s the love story that develops. What intrigues me most are the voices. Not just the singing voices, but the voice of a man who believes and trusts completely in his homeland. Still the heartfelt belief that von Trapp felt for his country touches my heart. He was not afraid to tell anyone about this deep devotion for his homeland. One could say there was not a timid bone in his body.

Listening through some of the great music of this movie set me to thinking about my own timidity. Most would say, I have none, however, those who really know me, know that deep down, at heart – I am somewhat timid and backward. I’ve never been a good socialite, and large mingling crowds find me sitting to side smiling intently. Still, I know how deeply I love the Lord.

In my love for Christ, I have to ask myself just how bashful am I? It is my hope that my example stands to speak for me when my mouth will not. I am, by no means, perfect. There are moments I’m cranky, and even hateful. Tell me, who of us isn’t at times. I will say, to my own credit, I am not ashamed to apologize when I am wrong. Neither here nor there, I felt it necessary to rate my overall timidity about Christ.

I don’t shout Christ from the mountain tops, and I don’t stand on a street corner singing, “I shall not be moved.” I don’t man a huge cross and drag it through the city streets, nor do I point my finger and preach at every individual I meet. Does that mean I’m timid? Heaven’s no, it simply means I’m a bit more reserved with my witness than shouting at everyone who will listen. So, my question to you is, does that make me a bad disciple? What kind of a witness would I have been for Christ in His time?

The question looms and I doubt I would have been in the top 12. I can’t even offer a good excuse for my lack of ability or tenacity. I can only say, that I praise God that He is a loving and forgiving Father. I have come to realize that my efforts are not in vain when I am the best person I can be, or when I interject something Christ-like into a conversation. Either way, I am so grateful to know that Christ can take me just as I am and make me what He wants me to be. I only have to make the effort. He takes it from there, offering me the peace, the tenacity, and the courage to speak where and when I need to speak. I know God understands my personal humility, backwardness, and shyness. Regardless, when I open my heart, He gives me a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline that rivals none.

I can only say that I love the Lord with all my heart, soul, and mind. He has provided for me when I deserved nothing, and He has lifted me to a pinnacle where even The Sound of Music cannot go. I am who I am, bought at a price, and made whole. Hey, perhaps I shout louder than I thought.

Prayer: Lord, we are so unworthy of Your love, still You lift us up and love us dearly.