Walking into Doors

If the Lord delights in a man’s way he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. – Psalm 37: 23 &24


Each morning I rise just minutes before the 5:00 a.m. alarms rings. There are days I can sleep a little past but for the most part my feet hit the floor before I am called by the clock. In our living room we keep a small light on through the night to light the hallway just incase one of us gets up– there is some level of light.

Since I am currently in the middle of working on my economics final paper, all my homework is strewn across the computer desk. When I went to bed, I closed the door to the computer room to keep the cats from reeking havoc on my papers. With Tim working day shift he was up before me. No need in running over each other for the same bathroom so I stay snuggled in the bed until he was on his way to work. I heard the front door close and the lock snap and I smiled to think that my sweet husband locked me in safe and sound as he left for work.

Sitting up, I grabbed my pink fuzzy socks and slipped them over my feet then headed down the hallway. No light. Hummm. Well that was okay, I’ve traveled this hallway for 22 years. I can do it with my eyes closed. So I did. I took hold of the railing and started toward the computer room. The first step I took landed on the cat’s tail. A blood curdling yeow rang through the house. My heart skipped a beat as I jumped back a step only to meet up with cat number two. Stepped on her, too. Obviously not my day or the cat’s day. “Well forever more, anyone else want stepped on?” I muttered.

I wiped my eyes and started down the hallway a second time. Three or four steps later and I catch my toe on the edge of the bookcase. There’s no need to describe that pain, you’ve been there I’m sure. The ache starts out in your toe and then continually radiates becoming more severe as the moments pass. “I just want to get to the computer room!” I hear Chase snickering in his bedroom which only adds insult to injury.

At last I make the turn to the computer room and wham! Ran face first into the door I had closed the night before (now Chase is really laughing). In fact, so was I by this point. I had met obstacle after obstacle this morning. One thing after another and as humorous as it seemed it was like Satan was messing with me to see if he could put me in bad mood.

Once in the computer room I sat down at my desk and pulled open my Bible. It flipped open to Psalm 37. Perhaps God’s encouragement to me for the day since that particular Psalm covers everything from commitment to the Lord, to refraining from anger, and learning to wait on God. Obviously all things I needed to read. However, wedged between “the wicked will perish” and “turn from evil” was this one simple verse. “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”

In light of the stress of work, school, writing and outside activities, I’ve found myself floundering somewhat. I feel my self confidence weaken and self-doubt inch its way into my mind. I watch aimlessly as my friends experience difficulties in their own lives between health issues and personal matters of the heart and I feel helpless. My heart becomes heavy and my mind gets a little fuzzy causing me to trip over my own insecurities, run into a few doors face first. So this morning I sat down at my computer desk and looked around expecting fully to see the Father. He wasn’t in the extra computer chair sitting with His feet resting on the bookshelf, and he wasn’t sitting at the piano. He wasn’t resting leaned against the corner wall. And I suddenly felt alone.

The pain in my toe grew but worse – the fear in my heart became evident as I wondered if God, who meets me faithfully every morning, had deserted me. That’s when I flipped open my Bible to Psalm 37. I read the entire Psalm.” Trust in the Lord and do good…. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart….be still before the Lord and wait….though he stumble, he will not fall….” Even though my minds eye could not see the Father sitting next to me, my heart felt His presence.

We often expect God to be standing in front of us, just waiting on the edge to lean forward and prevent us from making mistakes, or falling. The fact of the matter is, sometimes we must realize that the stumble is what makes us grow. When things don’t go the way we expect or demand, when the obvious result doesn’t happen, God doesn’t automatically throw a couple of knee pads down for us to fall onto. Instead, He asks for us to seek Him and we will find Him. Sometimes we have to run into a door face first to jolt us into His line of thinking.

I sat there rubbing my foot and the pain slowly eased. A smile crossed my face as I suddenly came into the understanding that God is a faithful God and a God who is in control, even when I am not. It took two cats, a stumped toe and smashing into the door for me to wake up this morning. Still, through it all, God did not let me fall.