Fool that I Am

We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong….

1 Corinthians 4:10

There are times when I doubt. Times when I wonder, “What’s the point?” Trusting is like spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. I’ve fallen to my knees and cried out to God, only to have the words fall upon deaf ears. I’ve asked, “Why won’t You listen, better yet, why won’t You answer?”

I’ve worked hard to accomplish projects that might serve the church or God’s people, encouraged a handful of others to hop on the bandwagon and seen the efforts work for awhile and then fall by the wayside, regardless of how hard I try to pick up the pieces.

Fact is, I finally figured out, I’m not the savior of the church. It’s not me who has to keep things running, who has to manage every program, do every job, open the doors of the church every Sunday. I can’t do it all and more so, I don’t want to do it all.

When I look at the amount of projects I’m personally involved in, just in church, I have to cross my arms and say, “Shish, God. Can’t you pick on someone else?”

Now that you’re wondering if this woman who has professed to love the Lord with her heart, soul and mind, has lost her mind –then listen up.

I am a fool for Christ and I do love Him with my entire being. Under no circumstance, do I begrudge any of the projects I’ve taken on for the kingdom because I love being a servant. However, it wasn’t me that came up with April Fool’s Day! Though I can say, it is me who can take advantage of it! So Happy April Fool’s Day.

Throughout this “foolish” ranting, there is a message and the truth of the matter is, my bestfriend Mark tells me, “You need to slow down.” He’s right. My plate is full and it’s taking its toll on me physically. I have given up some of my hats within the church and other places, too –not because I didn’t want to do them but because others need an opportunity to serve where their talents lie as well. I love being a servant and my heart is completely foolish for the Lord. And for all the times I have fallen to my knees, God has never failed to answer.

May you be a fool for Christ, wise and strong in Him, fully trusting the one who IS the Savior of the church, who IS the giver of life, and who loves us completely.

I Will Bring You to Me

Then he sent out a dove to see if the water had receded from the surface of the ground. But the dove could find nowhere to perch because there was water over all the surface of the earth; so it returned to Noah in the ark. He reached out his hand and took the dove and brought it back to himself in the ark. – Genesis 8:8 & 9

My head hurts. In fact, it throbs. My eyes are blurred. I had deadlines to meet yesterday –big deadlines. What I had written needed to be rewritten. Not once, but numerous times. The computer has a clock the size of quarter ticking down the time in the upper left corner of the screen and with each sweep of the second hand I felt the pressure increase.

When I hit send at 11:49 p.m. I leaned against my chair and took in a deep breath. Funny how God cares for us. As I reached to flip off the computer screen, an email popped into the mailbox.

“Just rolled in. What’s up? Course you’re probably in bed now.”

Silly as it sounds, I started to cry. The tears were a combination of a headache, stress and exhaustion, but more so, they were tears of joy. You see, I’d sent an email, the day before to Aaron seeking his help on this deadline. I knew he was out of town, he’d told me he’d be gone for the weekend, but I sent him a note hoping, he might return before I had to send my work. He didn’t make it. However, what he did was respond. He wrote as soon as he saw my email. Most would have deleted the email assuming it was too late to bother. Knowing the time difference, he still responded.

I thought how frustrating it must have been for the dove Noah assigned the task of searching out land. Flying for hours, becoming exhausted, hoping for an up draft to get it back to the ark. Its task was completed, as tired as it must have been, Noah extended his hand for the dove. He could have just opened the window, but he didn’t. He held out his hand.

When we’ve faced trials and frustrations, met deadlines, finished the project – when our head throbs –all we have to do is look toward the Father. Christ stands, hand extended, waiting to bring us into him. I was tempted to pull an old devotion. I’d earned a rest, I felt sure. But I didn’t --to much to be grateful for and Aaron’s simple email reminded me that it’s not always the content, it’s fact that someone was there. God has never left my side.

So I looked over my desk chair seeing the Father, shoulder leaned against the wall, leg crossed, toe touching the floor. I shrugged. He smiled and pointed at the note from Aaron.

“See. Someone is there. You’re never alone. I promised. And I keep my promises.” He ruffled my hair as He passed. “Now rest.”

Oddly enough, I felt the frustration and stress drain. As I laid my head on my pillow, the Father whispered. “I will bring you to me. Rest.”

JUST ONE - Guest Devotionalist, Cindy Rooy

I woke up with a case of melancholy and was dreading the long trip home, alone. I couldn’t shake my feeling of insignificance as questioning thoughts kept entering my head. God, do you still love me? Do you value me as an individual? Would you have died for just one person? God, would you have separated the Red Sea for just one Israelite? A succession of affirming biblical questions preceded my request: God, would you separate the waters for me today so that I can travel home on dry land? Would you clear a path for me? Would you do immeasurably more by giving me some sunshine?

It was now 5:55 a.m. and the gloomy weather forecast predicted rain throughout Georgia and Tennessee, covering nine of the ten-hour journey home. Only six minutes into the trip, feeling relieved it wasn’t raining yet and appreciating the little traffic at that early hour, I inserted a CD and settled in for the long drive.

Sometime mid-morning in southern Georgia, I saw fog in the distance. Oh boy, here it comes, I thought. To my surprise, the fog was actually steam coming up from the pavement. A heavy shower had just ended. The shoulders of the road were covered with puddles while the outside and inside lanes appeared dark gray from the moisture. Yet, the middle lane of Interstate 75 was light gray and dry. I glanced in my rear-view mirror and saw rain behind me. Then it occurred to me: the rain had stopped just before I arrived, and I was traveling over dry ground. As I looked again and viewed the puddles and the adjacent wet lanes, my heart began to race. God, are you answering my prayer? He was in effect, “separating the waters” for me to travel home on dry ground!

God kept me from driving in rain the entire trip, and even provided warm sunshine later that afternoon. It was evident that God not only cleared a path in the weather, He also parted a way through the heavy city traffic. I marveled each time the vehicles traveling in front of my car exited my lane as I moved along.

As I lay in bed that night, the Holy Spirit brought to my mind the Bible story of how Elisha used Elijah’s cloak to separate the waters of the Jordan River and crossed over alone (2 Kings 2:13-14). I then mentally replayed those early morning questions and reflected on everything God had provided for me that day. And I became convinced that God’s love for each individual is so great that He would have died for just one person.

Throw A Rock!

Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground. So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him. – 1 Samuel 17: 49 & 50

I needed to take a walk. It had been a rough week and my frustration level was well above boiling. Slipping on my shoes, I trailed off, hands in my pockets, head down and gritting my teeth. A long walk would help clear the thoughts, work out some of the irritation. At the end of the driveway, I made a left and headed toward the bluff along the river. The quiet and serenity of the woods would offer me respite.

Behind me I heard the lumbering walk of my son. His disability forces him to slightly drag on foot. Turning to face him, I pointed to the house and said, “Son, go home.”

“But mom, I need to give you something.”

“Give it to me when I get back.”

His persistence caught up to me as touched my shoulder. Taking my hand, he opened my fingers and placed three small smooth stones in my palm.

“What are these for?” I asked.

“Well, I was just thinkin’ about that little boy that threw a rock. He killed that big giant. He took that rock and threw it.”

I was not in the frame of mind to sort through his thoughts. “What are you getting at son?’

“Well, if that boy believed that God would help him hit the giant, then why can’t you throw a rock? It would be like throwing Jesus at the target.” He closed my fingers on the rocks, turned and started home.

Dumbfounded, I opened my fingers and stared at the stones. He had a point. Why couldn’t I just throw Jesus at the frustration that plagued me? I took a few steps then stopped. Grasping one of the stones, I drew back and flung the rock, all the while thinking, “I’m throwing Jesus at the problem.” As simple as it sounds, it helped.

You see, God simply wants us to hand our problems and frustrations over to him. Submit. He is our rock – literally speaking. He will take the things that gnaw at us and ease the pain. Our problem is letting go. We tend to cling to the hardships rather than lobbing them across the field. So, as I walked this morning, I reminded the Father of that day.

He smiled, “Took you long enough.”

“I know, I guess I’m slow sometimes. “

“You’re not slow,” the Father remarked, “You’re stubborn. You want to hang on to the things that cause you pain. All I want, is for you to trust me.”

I hung my head. “You’re right. But it’s hard. I feel like I should be able to handle things.”

The Father placed his arm around me and pulled me close. “I understand it’s hard. That’s why I’m giving you these.” He kissed my forehead and walked into the mist. I lifted my hand and opened my fingers to find rocks. When all else fails. Throw a rock.

What is Man -- Guest Author, Aaron Gansky

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him....—Psalm 8:3-4

(Photo - David Ryan)

I’m 23 years old and finally going camping—my friends have pressured me into it—and as we wind up the washboard dirt road, which, one lane wide, winds up a craggy mountain, unforgiving rock faces to our right and a voracious chasm to our left, I’m sitting in the back seat learning what car sickness really is, and I’m convinced: Camping is not for me. Never was.

And hour and three miles later, I collapse out of the car clutching my stomach with two fears—one, that I’ll die very soon, and two, that I won’t. Eventually, after I detox in the brisk August air, I start to feel well enough to help set up camp. I’ve not noticed the monumental mountain pines or the still cerulean lake just south of our campsite. As the sun slips behind the mountains, in the waning sunlight, we hike to a pond to the north about a quarter mile. We listen to the song of the frogs and the hum of the mosquitoes until the last light follows the sun under the horizon. In the dark, we hike, guitars in hand, to a rock which drops down to the lake. I stretch out, hands behind my head, look into the midnight sky under the scattered stars.

Here, under the stars, the mountains to my back, the lake beneath my feet, I understand, maybe for the first time, what it is to be small.

Someone is playing the guitar softly and I wonder how God could even know we’re there. More so, why would he care where we were? I am the least of all his creation.

My children are small and glorious. They are completely dependent on us for their well-being. They trust us and love us unconditionally.

I’m thirty years old now. In a few hours, the final bell will ring at the school where I work. I’ll pack up my laptop, my coffee, my stack of innumerable essays, and I’ll drive home. My son, Josiah (three years old going on twenty) will rush up to me and jump into my arms, a smile splitting his face. Elijah, my other son (one year old racing like a train to two) will spit out his pacifier, shout “Daddy,” wrap both arms around my knee, and insist I walk him to the kitchen for a snack. I’ll look at the picture of my wife’s latest ultrasound and marvel at the wonder that is the child growing within her.

And I will understand God a little more.

"Sheared " Delight

But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

- Romans 6: 17 & 18

Having worked for a veterinarian for fifteen years I can honestly say I've seen all kinds of fur fly. Anything from angry cats ripping out chunks of hair, shedding long-haired dogs, to balls of fur so matted you couldn't slip a finger through the coat. I've brushed out knots, trimmed nails, pulled hair out of pet ears, and sheared out mats. So when my family came home to me shearing our Maltese, they shook their heads and walked past without a word.

As winter approaches our Maltese sits in the floor and quivers, so I bought her a sweater. If you know anything about the breed, you'll understand that their hair is long and fine. It knots easily. In fact, it can be quiet frustrating to keep them groomed. When cold weather hit I put her sweater on her, and left it there all winter. She was happy. She didn't shiver and shake and you'd find her at any given time with her nose nuzzled inside the collar sleeping.

Recently I noticed she couldn't jump onto the couch. My first thought was she'd injured herself -until I pulled off her sweater. Her fine fur was matted to the skin and the hair under her legs was so tight to her body that she couldn't stretch her rear legs far enough to leap. Rather than putting her through the torture of brushing, I simply sheared her. Once she was free of the knotted fur, she was bouncing around the house barking, rolling and rubbing her face on the floor. She felt great (we won't say how she looks, but she felt great).

I thought to myself as I watched her roll on the floor how relieved she was. She'd been freed from the bonds of the matted fur. Oddly enough, I could relate that to my own life. There have been many times when situations have weighed me down, kept me in knots, preventing me from walking freely. Sin does that to us by burdening us down and stopping us from enjoying the pleasures the Father has given us.

These are the times I go to God and ask Him to shear away the mats. When I fall to my knees, submit myself to Him, and repent wholeheartedly, God's mercy and grace cut through the sin and set me free. The weight is lifted and I can move with ease - take in a good deep breath and exhale. You could say I feel "shear delight."

When you feel so burdened that you cannot function, when darkness hovers over you like a heavy blanket, call to Him. Fall before Him and ask Him to shear away the knots. There is nothing greater than the sense of relief when God lifts the weight from our shoulders and allows us to stand upright and breathe. Ask. He will heal.

Psalm 20 - Paraphrased

Upon occasion, God speaks fluently to my heart through the Psalms. When we read Psalms we can find the darkest parts of the heart, to the most joyful of places. These scripture hold the depths of every emotion and for me, reading them and then writing them in my own words drives home the meaning. Psalm 20 is a wish, a prayer, a hope for us or for our friends and family. The words could easily have been a letter written to our dearest friend. Take the words of Psalm 20 and read them revisited through my eyes.

These are the things I wish for you, the things I pray fervently for you. I lift you in prayer that God will hear you and answer you when your heart wears heavy. I pray that He will protect you. You see, I know full well He send help from His kingdom. He will come beneath you and support you, never letting you fall. He will remember you are a faithful and obedient servant and how you have fallen before Him in times past, lifting praise and glory to His name.
I pray that he will bless you with the desires of your heart and when you offer your works to Him in His name, that He would bless them, giving you a taste of success. And when He does, I will be cheering for you as you cross the finish line, thrilled you have made an amazing run. Then together we will praise His name for the blessings He has given to you. I pray God will grant your requests.

I believe fully that the Lord saves those he has taken as His own, those who have come to Him and when they hit hard times or suffer He provides His saving power to heal in ways we cannot imagine.

There are those who put their trust in worldly things, but me.....you.....we put our trust in the Father, the Almighty, the Sovereign God. Those whose hearts are given to the world are brought down when despair hits, but us, those of us who believe in the Father, stand firm. Rock solid.

Oh God, you are our king. Hear us and answer us when we call!